Thursday, April 22, 2010

His Personal Assistant by NorthernLights17

Title: His Personal Assistant

Author: NorthernLights17

Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4992721/1/His_Personal_Assistant

Summary: Bella Swan, personal assistant to handsome, rich, successful Edward Cullen, decides to take her friends advice and make her oblivious boss fall in love with her. AU/AH.

Rating: M

Readability/Grammar – 9
Humor – 8
Fluffiness/Angst – 4
Fur-friendly (Jake love scale) – 5
Emo-sensitive (Edward love scale) – 10
Smut – 8

Is this story complete? Yes

Did the reviewer finish reading the story? Yes

*SPOILERS FOLLOW*

This story is adorable. Minus a couple corny Let’s-actually-discuss-a-silly-plan-to-seduce-and/or-get-back-at-someone incidences or slight over-discussion of feelings at the end, it was quite good. I think the over-discussion was due to the fact that she had multiple POVs, which is easy to do unless you’re super careful about it. Even in real life we tend to over-analyze things, and if we actually knew each others’ thoughts, we would be over-discussing our feelings, too. Did that make any sense? I hope it did.

The readability was only a minor setback. I would have been able to read it much quicker if she had a beta who focused on small details, but for the most part it was fine.

The only thing wrong with Jake in this story (considering that he’s barely in it) is overestimating his and Bella’s relationship, and doesn’t get the hint when she had told him she only wanted to be friends, or when she’s basically molesting Edward in a restaurant, right in front of him. He’s only 20 (Bella’s age—they grew up together), so he’s still young and naïve, so we’ll forgive him for that.

Read it. Enjoy it. Invest in a ShamWow! *wide grin*

1 comment:

  1. Hi, do you have an Emailadress from the Author of his personal Assistant?

    Can you send me an Email to: anjastuermer@yahoo.de

    thanks

    ReplyDelete